Sex, Drugs and Electro House. Well, it was a good ride while it lasted. Come on kids, let's go home.
We are home.
That was fast.
Friday, April 6, 2007
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
A Red Letter Day
Throughout history there have been men who have stood head and shoulders above mankind. Bastians of power and heroism these men and women have stood defiant in the face of danger and oppression; knowing that their actions would lead serve to further civllisation. Many names have entered vernacular as symbols of this ideal and all would be worthy of a blog dedication. I however, have much higher standards than the vernacular.
Born in 1432, mothered by a blacksmith and fathered by a lion, Attila Zoltan, AKA DJ Special Cheese is a true legend for all real x. At the age of three he was pitted against Godzilla in the first ever battle for man kind. Unfortunately most reports were destroyed in the great fires of London, those that remain are truly extraordinary. To quote one Narcissus Slavus:
As young Attila continued to grow, many more battles of a similar nature took place; too numerous and epic to mention in this abridged chronicle of our hero. One important detail is the period in Attila's life in which knowledge gained provides him with immortality. At precisely twilight on February 29, 1444 - Attila encountered, on the road to Ashfield, a man of most unusual appearance sitting below a Hickory Tree. Without speaking a word the man produced a deck of cards which he fanned in front of him. With a flick of his wrists the cards were suddenly, all aces of spades. Attila was astonished. With another flick of the wrists the deck of cards turned into a penny whistle. Attila looked on with astonishment. By all accounts the man then disappeared miraculously. As did the tree under which he was sitting. Attila now lives forever because he became a sorcerer.
Like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of his lives.
[Tales of Attila will return periodically, I will give a prize to whoever can name eveyrthing I have referenced. Some of them are quite subtle.]
Born in 1432, mothered by a blacksmith and fathered by a lion, Attila Zoltan, AKA DJ Special Cheese is a true legend for all real x. At the age of three he was pitted against Godzilla in the first ever battle for man kind. Unfortunately most reports were destroyed in the great fires of London, those that remain are truly extraordinary. To quote one Narcissus Slavus:
"And so with Tyranasaurus' blessings the two warriors began to face each other in Mortal Kombat. For neigh on one eleventh of an hour neither gladiator moving from his original stance. Their eyes locked in a battle as ferocious as that which would eventuate. As the crowd of Stegasaurii and Chavs fell into a lull there was a sudden burst of movement. The mighty toddler Attila flicked his wrist and yelled with ultimate fury:
"GET OVER HERE!"
The grapple fixed itself to Godzilla's chest and with a almighty tug the beast was pulled to a state of dizziness infront of Attila. A rising uppercut knocked the Nipponese monster to the ground. Attila rushed on the beast but before he could finish him Godzilla rose to his feet before breathing an icy breath that froze Attila solid in place. The gratutitous lizard then fly kicked the child in the foice. Now he was pissed. The young Attila then launched into a 15 point combo culminating in a rising dragon punch which left the beast on the edge of consciousness. Attila then gripped the monsters jaw before ripping out his spine. With an evil smirk Tyranasaurus cried "FATALITY" before applauding the young warrior. Then we all got trashed and Julian hit on some ugly middle aged English woman."
As young Attila continued to grow, many more battles of a similar nature took place; too numerous and epic to mention in this abridged chronicle of our hero. One important detail is the period in Attila's life in which knowledge gained provides him with immortality. At precisely twilight on February 29, 1444 - Attila encountered, on the road to Ashfield, a man of most unusual appearance sitting below a Hickory Tree. Without speaking a word the man produced a deck of cards which he fanned in front of him. With a flick of his wrists the cards were suddenly, all aces of spades. Attila was astonished. With another flick of the wrists the deck of cards turned into a penny whistle. Attila looked on with astonishment. By all accounts the man then disappeared miraculously. As did the tree under which he was sitting. Attila now lives forever because he became a sorcerer.
Like sands through the hourglass, these are the days of his lives.
[Tales of Attila will return periodically, I will give a prize to whoever can name eveyrthing I have referenced. Some of them are quite subtle.]
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